Thursday, March 28, 2013

Off the Wagon

Life after Princess has been anything but dull, but admittedly I have found myself in a bit of a lull.  I thought initially that since I didn't have anything to train for, or the big looming goal that I had in Princess that once I had my goals in place for short and long term that all would automatically right itself and I would be back in full forward motion.

Not the case, as I had mentioned in my recaps I tweaked my knee and in giving that time to rest up I lost a bit of motivation.  I had never allowed myself down days, or very rarely had down days that have a whole lunch to myself without a run was oddly appealing.  During that same time I had applied for and interviewed for a new role in a different group within my current employer, so I wanted to stay close to the phone.  Even when I finally heard that I did get the job that still didn't get me back on track.  The gym was a five minute walk now instead of two and on and on.

This once three time a week runner was dropping to a Saturday run if I was lucky.  Even my nightly kettle bell while tv watching started dwindling.

The other downside to this was that I started to make poor food choices as well. I have found since thyroid cancer took my thyroid and my metabolism (and so on, and so on) to maintain MY happy weight I have to be diligent about how and what I eat. I'm sure being obsessive/compulsive about the calorie consumption seems counter productive, but it has worked for me and for my situation.  I let myself get into some bad habits when I was training because I could "make up for it" on my long run days. I stopped drinking as much water too.

What I found by not running like I needed to, and my not doing any form of cross training and eating whatever I wanted, when I wanted was that I started to get sluggish and I gained some weight that I have not seen in well over a year.

My initial reaction to the weight gain is "oh, no!  My thyroid levels are off" My poor maligned, non-existent thyroid gets blamed for everything. I'm thinking this time that the weight fluctuation is not thyroid related but Suzanne related.

So I am getting myself back on the wagon.  Back to three days a week running, back to running at lunch no matter what.  Back to drinking my water, back to great food choices and back to My Fitness Pal.  My plan is to be diligent while I wait for my yearly endocrinologist appointment next month, if by then I have not lost the weight that I have gained back and my TSH levels are ok, then I need to work harder.  If my levels are way off from my Synthroid dosage then and only then will I blame my thyroid.

For now it's on me.  While I would love to request someone to hold me accountable, I realize too that I am the only one who can really make myself do it and I'm bound and determined to get my stuff together again.

So what do you do when you get off your path?  Do you stay on the same road not asking for directions or do you stop and go back the right way?